


cardiogeography

by androgynousmikewheeler



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Nonbinary Abed Nadir, Other, Pining, Post-Canon, Trans Annie Edison, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29105526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousmikewheeler/pseuds/androgynousmikewheeler
Summary: When Troy comes back, Abed is different.
Relationships: Annie Edison & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes & Annie Edison, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 25
Kudos: 61





	1. Chapter 1

When Troy comes back, Abed is different.

They wave across the pier with the rest of the study group, but their smile is tired and even at thirty, their hair has started graying.

When Troy rushes towards them, Annie and Britta wrapping him in a hug, Abed stands back, watching.

They're a watcher again. A director, a puppeteer, a studio audience in their own life, Troy trapped on the other side of the fourth wall.

Troy steps forward, wrapping his arms around them, the lean muscle and bone the same, but the familiarity of their touch sorely missing.

But then the others are talking, swarming Troy with questions and hugs and the million things he's missed, and Troy tries to keep his eyes off Abed's detached stare.

They pile into Shirley's minivan, rushing him off to some restaurant or other. After ten weeks alone with LeVar Burton on the Pacific, the chatter splashes around his head like ocean spray, blinding him to the sun slipping past the horizon.

As he buckles his seatbelt, Abed's voice reaches his ears. "...have to get home. I promised I'd be back by five."

Everyone sighs and waves their goodbyes, Troy's arms following suit as if not consulting his head first.

"Wait," Troy murmurs after their retreating form, "Abed's leaving? I just got here."

Annie nods, a light laugh failing to ease the rope tightening about Troy's chest. "Yeah, I don't think Reggie really cares. He might be the only person on earth who likes schedules more than Abed."

"Oh," Troy squeaks, his stomach curdling with jealousy, "how long has Reggie been around?"

"Nine months next Tuesday," Annie grins, "He's great."

"Sounds like it."

Annie chatters on, oblivious to Troy's discomfort. "You can swing by our place after dinner and meet him if you want."

Troy grimaces. "I'm pretty tired. Maybe tomorrow."

Annie shrugs. "That works."

"Do you all live together?"

She nods. "Yep! Me and Abed and Reg. We're working on a new sci-fi murder mystery script. I'm really excited for it." She launches into an in-depth explanation, hands waving as much as possible in the cramped car.

Troy's thoughts flow back to Abed, the mysterious Reggie polluting every dream he'd had of finding them again, of saying everything he couldn't say before.

He moves through the rest of the night in the dense fog of being replaced. And the worst part is knowing the blame rests solely on his own shoulders, knowing he didn't ask Abed to wait for him, couldn't have asked such a thing, and now it doesn't matter.

It's Abed and Reggie now, certainly with their own rituals and inside jokes, nine months into the relationship Troy could have had if he wasn't such a coward.

In the dimness of his hotel room, he misses the gentle rocking of the boat. He doesn't sleep well.


	2. Chapter 2

Troy wakes the next afternoon to "Anything You Can Do" playing from his phone. He groans and swats at it, misjudging the distance to the unfamiliar hotel sidetable and knocking it onto the tacky carpet. 

He inches out of the sheets and grabs it off the floor, silencing the familiar bickering voice of Ethel Merman and replacing it with that of Annie.

"Troy!" she calls through the tinny speaker, "I thought you were going to come over this morning! I texted you."

He glances at the thirty-seven text notifications on his screen. "I see that."

"So? Are you coming?"

Troy rubs his pounding forehead. "I'm still in bed."

Annie clicks her tongue. "You know, sleeping in so late is bad for your circadian rhythm. Also, I want to see you again!"

Troy exhales. "I'm glad someone does."

Annie hums. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Troy shrugs before realizing she can't see him and making a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. 

"Is this about Abed?"

Troy's voice jumps an octave. "What? No!"

She sighs. "They're just busy, Troy. Between work and Reggie and writing a script... you know they're not trying to blow you off."

"If they're so busy, maybe we should just grab lunch or something. Not bother them."

Annie's voice is resigned. "If that's what you want, I'll come pick you up and we can get lunch."

"Okay," Troy says, "See you in twenty." 

He hangs up the phone and stumbles into the bathroom, downing some lukewarm water from the tap.

He was supposed to wake up this morning in Abed's bed, kiss their forehead, and make them a cup of special drink. They were supposed to be just as hung up over him as Troy was over them. And they would reunite, and it would be like the perfect ending to a perfect movie.

And here he is, hungover and alone.

He unzips his bag and pulls a shirt over his head at random, a white linen button up from his stop in South Africa. 

Something small falls to the floor and Troy swears under his breath. On hands and knees, he studies the carpeting for whatever he dropped. He passes a hand under the overhanging coverlet and finds a cube. He pulls it out and looks at it, stomach dropping before he can even see it.

It's a die. Classic and unmemorable, with its white sides and black dots, Troy knows exactly where it came from.

The Yahtzee set he and Abed bought when they moved into Chez Trobed. It's the die Abed caught, capturing them in the brightest timeline, promising that all they really needed was each other. 

So much for that. 

Troy tosses it back into his suitcase and finishes getting dressed, grabbing his wallet just as Annie knocks on the door. Two minutes early as always.


	3. Chapter 3

Lunch passes in a haze of chatter. Annie rants about the script they're working on (which, Troy notes, Reggie seems to have done _very_ little work on), trying awkwardly to avoid discussing either of her roommates.

As the check comes, Troy paying with the flashy new credit card he doesn't even know the limit of, Annie pleads, "Would you _please_ come see Abed? I can show you the house and you can meet Reggie."

Troy shrugs, about to refuse, when Annie adds, "They really miss you, Troy. They haven't been the same without you. They just don't know how to show it."

Troy sighs. "Sure, okay. I would like to see your cool new house in L.A."

"I mean, it's got crazy rent for being so tiny, and it's an hour outside of the city, but it's great." She grabs his hand across the table and smiles. "Thanks, Troy. Really."

As she drives them through the ever-hellish traffic of Los Angeles, Annie points out one of the million billboards, this one advertising a film called _Dead Planet._

"Abed worked on that one!" she boasts. "Second associate producer's second assistant, if you can believe that that's a real job title."

Troy cracks a smile, imagining Abed rushing across a film set with the frantic speed of someone miles from having any actual artistic control. "Sounds glamorous."

"Yeah, well," she shrugs, "we can't all be multimillionaires."

Troy laughs dryly. "It still feels so weird, not having to budget everything. Blows my brain."

Fully into the Southern California suburbs, Annie swings into a parking space in front of a rickety but brightly painted little house. Emphasis on _little_. 

"We're home!" she crows. "Let me just text Abed, let them know we're coming in."

This seems a bit overkill to Troy, but he says nothing, undoing his seatbelt and climbing out of the car. In the yard, what looks to be a handmade _Inspector Spacetime_ weathervane twists lazily in the warm breeze. 

Annie's phone buzzes and she checks it. "Reggie's asleep, so we shouldn't be too loud."

Troy raises his eyebrows. "It's mid-afternoon."

She laughs. "If he wants to sleep, I'm not gonna complain."

As they approach the door, it glides open, a politely smiling Abed on the other side. The sun glints in their silvering hair, and even in the warm light, they look tired. 

"Hey, Troy," they say, but they extend no hug, no handshake. "Been a while."

Troy nods, this odd distance between them painful. "How've you been?"

"Good," Abed says, something behind their eyes that Troy can't quite understand, "good. Come on in."

Troy follows Annie in, examining the decor both so familiar and so alien. The posters, the knit blankets, the hint of a blanket fort in the back room. Shows Troy has never seen, movies he hasn't heard of, and not a trace of their friendship anywhere.

Annie sits on the couch and Troy follows suit, Abed taking the armchair opposite. For a long moment, they stew in silence.

Troy clears his throat. "Annie says you worked on _Dead Planet_."

Abed nods. "Second associate producer's second assistant," they rattle off. "Have you seen it?"

Troy shakes his head. "I've been... you know."

Abed nods again, laughing a little at themself. "Dumb question."

"We have a DVD," Annie says, "perks of working on the project. We could watch it."

"Yeah," Troy says. Anything to end this quiet.

As the opening credits roll over a futuristic city, Abed cocks their head to the side, listening. 

"What's up?" Troy asks.

"I think Reggie's awake. One second." Abed disappears back into the house, Troy's stomach gurgling with jealousy. 

He takes a moment, pushing back at the hint of hysteria rising in his throat, and tries to steel himself to meet his replacement.

But when Abed walks back into the living room with Reggie, Troy gapes.


	4. Chapter 4

Reggie's attentive brown eyes peek out from behind a mop of black hair, a strong nose between chubby cheeks. He sits on Abed's hip and babbles into their neck, syllables that almost sound like words. 

"Wait," Troy gawks, "Reggie's a _baby_?"

Annie whips her head to look at Troy, hair hitting him in the face. "What?"

Abed looks concerned. "What else would he be?"

"I don't know!" Troy yells, "Where did you get a _baby_?" He turns slowly towards Annie, eyes widening. "Wait, did you two...?"

Annie laughs. "Troy, neither of us have a uterus."

He stands, starting to pace. "Then whose baby is that?"

Abed's face morphs to confusion. "Mine," they explain, as if it should be obvious. To be fair, the resemblance is striking.

"When did you get a baby?"

Abed cocks their head. "Depending on your beliefs on when life is created, nine to eighteen months ago." Reggie gurgles and their attention switches to him. They hold his tiny little hand and sway their hips. Reggie giggles and Abed lights up, swinging his hand.

Troy turns to Annie. "Wait. Then, where's...?" He trails off.

As Annie struggles to pick her words, Abed answers, "She didn't want him. We'd already stopped seeing each other when she found out. She called me in the middle of the night and she didn't know what to do. I said I'd take him. I wanted him. And..." they shrug, something painful lurking in their eyes, "it might just be the only good impulse I've ever had." Their smile is sad as they press a kiss to Reggie's forehead. "Besides, absent mothers are a Nadir family tradition."

"Oh," Troy says. It's the only thing he can think to say. For a long moment, it's quiet, save for Reggie's soft cooing into Abed's collar. 

Then Annie blurts, "Wait, who did you _think_ Reggie was?"

"Shut up," Troy says.

Realization dawns on her face and she smirks.

And suddenly Troy feels painfully outgrown. It may be somewhat unusually formed, but what he's looking at is a family, a house, careers, a baby. Life has gone on without him, his friends have become adults, and he's dragging helplessly behind, a blanket fort calling itself a real house.

Reggie starts to cry. 

And Troy starts to cry. He feels painfully, overwhelmingly young. He feels painfully, overwhelmingly old.

Most of all, he just feels alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Annie's arms wrap around his waist and he deflates into her touch, sobbing. 

"Oh, honey," she whispers into the thick coils of his hair, "what's wrong?"

Troy hiccups, quieting for a second to try and gather words. In the lull, he hears Abed murmuring to Reggie, opening the refrigerator for a bottle. Reggie cries out. Another sob bubbles in Troy's throat. 

Annie just pats his back as he holds onto her for dear life. He breathes in her soft perfume, her hair tickling his cheek, reveling in her soft sweater. 

When his tears subside, Abed sits at the kitchen table, feeding a now quiet Reggie and watching Troy intently. Troy can't seem to meet their eyes. 

Annie guides him back onto the couch, resting a hand on his elbow. "What's going on?" she asks, and for a long, horrid moment, he is once more a stupid, stupid child, pulled into the school counselor's office because he can't manage to pass fifth grade.

But then it passes. Troy is an adult again. Annie is Annie again. Abed is... Abed is a stranger again. 

"I should go," he says, grabbing his phone and standing with an awkward rush. "I shouldn't– I'll call an Uber. I'm sorry."

Annie grabs at him. "What? Why? Where are you going?"

He spins out of her touch and opens his phone with frantic fingers. "I– I'm not– I clearly don't belong here. So, I'm just gonna– I'm gonna get out of your way."

"Troy," Annie cries, "what are you talking about?"

"You guys, you've got lives and you're–" his voice pitches into hysteria, "you've got a kid! You clearly don't need _me!_ "

"I need you."

Troy whips towards Abed, their voice quiet but confident. He can't breathe. "What?"

"I need you," Abed repeats, a hint of emotion plaguing a final, "please."

Troy exhales shakily. "What could you possibly need me for?"

Abed swallows. "I think it's obvious that I don't handle emotions well. I'm the stoic, robotic sidekick. Which... usually, that's been okay. No one needed my emotions anyway. But," they look down at Reggie, sucking intently at his bottle, "Reggie deserves better than that. He deserves– he _needs_ someone better than that. Someone kind, and emotional, and open. Silly and conversational and charismatic and understanding and wise. He needs..." Abed looks up at Troy, their elusive emotions poking through. "All I keep thinking is that he needs you. _I need you_. You make my life better, you make me better, you show me how to be open and real, and I don't think I could stand it if you left again. I miss you. I miss the person I am with you. I like the way my life is now, Troy, but I can't stop wanting you in it."

Annie walks into the kitchen and takes Reggie from them. She nods her head in Troy's direction and says, "Go on."

Abed stands and walks towards him, the world converging into a single closing axis of the space between them, and then Abed's hand is on his cheek. Abed's eyes are close enough for Troy to see his reflection in them. Abed's mouth is opening.

"Stay," they whisper, " _please_."

Troy kisses them. He can hear the music swelling, feel the camera spinning, see the titles starting to roll. He kisses Abed. Abed kisses him. 

Happily ever after and all that. 

"I'll stay," he whispers against Abed's lips, "I'll stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while this is technically the end of the narrative, I do plan on having an epilogue. stay tuned.


	6. epilogue

Troy hikes Reggie up onto his hip and ruffles his fine baby hair. Reggie babbles at him and reaches for his curls.

"I would try to avoid him pulling your hair," Abed says as they pack a decidedly picturesque picnic basket, "Those tiny fingers have quite the grip."

Annie pads her way into the kitchen, yawning and pulling a blouse over her head. "He's got quite the stomach too. He woke me up for food _four_ times last night." She sighs. "And he _was_ sleeping through the night so nicely, too."

"Probably a growth spurt," Troy adds, "He always seems to be hungry these days." He looks down at Reggie and boops his nose, his voice melting into baby talk. "You're doing such a good job growing, aren't you? Aren't you?"

Annie surveys the kitchen. "What's all this?"

"We thought we'd surprise you with a picnic," Abed says, then, belatedly, "Surprise!"

Annie gasps joyously and looks over Abed's preparations. "My grandmother's blanket! And," she squeaks, "Did you guys make poppy seed cake?"

"Mostly Troy," Abed states, "The extent of my cooking knowledge includes a microwave and a deep fryer."

She hugs Abed around the waist. They rest their head on top of hers and smile. She releases her grip and maneuvers around Reggie to half-hug Troy, pressing a kiss to the little one's forehead. 

"Why are you two being so nice to me?" she asks. 

Troy holds out a finger, then grabs Reggie's hand, puppeteering him into grabbing something from Troy's breast pocket. 

Clutched in Reggie's baby fist is a small card.

Annie gives Troy a quizzical look but she takes it, thanking Reggie. She pulls it open to reveal the words, "Happy Mother's Day!" marred by a tiny handprint. Underneath it is written, in Abed's handwriting, "Love, Constable Reggie (and also Troy and Abed)."

"Awwww," she coos, "that's so sweet! I didn't even realize!"

"Your first Mother's Day," Troy says, turning Reggie towards her and waving his hand. 

She swoops forward and picks him from Troy's arms, spinning him around and kissing his forehead again. " _Our_ first."

Abed folds up the picnic basket and smiles. "I think we're ready when you are, Annie. I've got food for all of us, plus Reggie's things and the video camera."

Annie nods. "You could definitely get some footage for _Godzilla of the Ants_."

Abed shoots her a finger gun, whispering, "Pew pew pew."

Annie grins, hands Reggie off to Abed, and hustles back towards her bedroom. "Just gotta grab my purse!" She gasps as she rushes back out and grabs a book from the sofa. "Oh, we almost forgot _Corduroy_. Reggie would never forgive us."

Reggie looks up at the book and reaches for it, babbling at it. "Ca-doi," he exclaims, "Ca-doi!"

Annie squeaks. Troy gasps. Abed's mouth falls open.

"Was that–?" Annie breathes.

"Did he–?" Troy squeals.

Abed grins. "That was his first word!" They spin him around and hug him to their chest. "Do you wanna read _Corduroy_ , Reggie?"

"Ca-doi!" 

They all rush to sit down on the couch, Reggie in Abed's arms, Troy cuddled into one side and Annie the other. Annie opens the big picture book. 

"Corduroy," she reads, "is a bear who once lived in the toy department of a big store."

"Ca-doi," Reggie mumbles. 

"That's right," Abed whispers, "that's Corduroy."

Reggie smiles, his joy mirrored in the faces of his parents.

Troy looks at his family, effortlessly happy on the beat up old couch, and says, "Maybe we could have our picnic here."

And they do. Annie reads to a contently babbling Reggie. They eat cake and sit on the floor. Abed films Annie looking just as lovestruck as she did in her dead wife montage. And Troy just watches them and tries to remember ever feeling so wonderfully at home.

He can't. 


End file.
